were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
