Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
