the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
