TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
