It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
