Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
