i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
