Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
