Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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