kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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