i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
