Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
