and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize