You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
