yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
