You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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