Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The uberlube is also flammable
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
