I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
