I can feel you judging me through the phone.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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