His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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