kristin has been a bad kristin
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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