this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
