My room smells like vodka and shame
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
