"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
