Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
