he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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