2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
