suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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