Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
