You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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