It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
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The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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