He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
