so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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