some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
