I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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