the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
