she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize