How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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