I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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