it's too hot outside to masturbate.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
