found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
