I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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