I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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