I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
