I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
