would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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