oh god the rape fog is back!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
