All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
