We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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