I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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