I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize