Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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