Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
