OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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