its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize