You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You don't make any sense
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