unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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