Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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