Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize