wat bout pragnant strippers??
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
