Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
